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Homesickness and the transition to Penn State

By Mary Anne Knapp, LCSW, Clinical Social Worker for the Center for Counseling and Psychological Services

Most students experience some degree of homesickness (the longing for home, family, friends or familiar environment) when they first come to Penn State.  So, if your student shows signs of homesickness, just know that they are definitely not alone!

First, a large university setting is different from most students’ previous experiences.  The absence of parental “TLC - tender loving care” and helpful reminders (sometimes known as nagging) can lead some students to feel adrift and alone. 

Students’ homesickness can involve feelings of anxiety about separation from loved ones or anxiety about their performance.  Feelings of isolation, feeling different from others, feeling depressed with low motivation to study or make friends all can be experienced as part of homesickness.  Yearning for a connection to someone who will “take the pain away and make things seem alright” is a common reaction as well as constantly thinking of home itself.  Nighttime or other times when students are not busy can be particularly difficult. 

While homesickness can be painful, it also presents students with an opportunity to grow beyond what they otherwise would have and to expand their comfort zones.  It presents a chance to take charge of life and learn new skills for dealing with emotions and with those around them.  When students work to master homesickness and expand their coping skills, this usually leads to increased self-esteem and a sense of independence. 

As a concerned parent of a homesick student, it can also be difficult for you to strike the right balance of support and challenge when your student is unhappy. One thing to remember is that most students will adjust and feel better within a few weeks or months.   However, if homesickness is severe and unrelenting, or if a student feels suicidal, getting professional help and questioning whether this is the time for the student to leave home is appropriate. 

Here are some suggestions you may want to share with your son or daughter about adjusting to college: 

Advice to share with students: How to cope while creating a second home at Penn State

• Accept that it may take some time for you to feel as comfortable at school as you do at home.  You may feel a sense of loss and discomfort with all of the changes, but you are capable of surviving these feelings if you allow yourself to relax and explore.
• Analyze your Homesickness.  What experience, thing or person are you missing the most?  Are you longing for someone to listen to you?  Do you long to meet people to hang out with? Do you miss your role as a student leader?  Have you had trouble finding students with similar values or life experiences?  Ask yourself what things you can control. 
• Participate in events to learn about Penn State and to meet others.  Check out the online directory of Penn State student organizations.
• Take Action.  Structure your time and open up to Penn State experiences that may replace those at home.  Decorate your room; learn where to play your favorite sport; go to a movie; find out about student organizations on campus; even studying for classes can be an activity to help you.
• Plan trips home and maintain contact with family by phone, email and/or IM.  Remember that a continuing psychological connection with home and loved ones exists even when you are physically here.
• Limit the amount of time you consciously think of home.  Refocus on what you can do now at Penn State.
• Focus on things that relax you - deep breathing; listening to music; going for a walk; exercising; or talking to a friend.
• Try to make new friends by talking with those on your floor, in classes, or those just sitting in the HUB/Robeson Center.
• Go for help if you continue to feel distress, if you feel suicidal or desperate.  You can talk with Peer counselors at Lion Support at 863-2020, your RA or Area Coordinator or call The Center for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) at 863-0395 to schedule an appointment for professional counseling.
• Remember to enjoy this fantastic new experience!

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